I played tennis in high school and was told early on to compete against people who played better than I. (Trust me, it wasn’t hard to find an opponent.) The reason for this is that when you’re around a good player, it brings out the best play in you. I’ve since learned this is also a great way to choose friends.
There are two kinds of people in our lives — Energizers and Dead Batteries. Energies make us feel great about ourselves. The remind us how good we are, they motivate us and generally make us feel better just by being around.
Then there are Dead Batteries. Those are the people who drain us of energy. They complain, they discourage or maybe they don’t do anything in particular, but for some reason, they just make us feel bad.
I used to have a friend that reminded me of Jude Law’s character in “The Talented Mr. Ripley.” When we’d hang out, he was a lot of fun. But he’d also be extremely flaky and unreliable. Often we’d make plans, and he’d cancel at the last minute. It was one of those friendships that you have to force along (where you feel a bit taken for granted). When I left him a message telling him I was getting married, I didn’t hear from him for almost a month. That made me realize that this friendship led to a lot more disappointments than good times. There wasn’t a problem here to be fixed. It was just who he was. I had to answer a tough question. Did this friend contribute to my life, or take away? The disappointment far outweighed the good times, and I’ve let the friendship fade away. It was hard, but I feel it was the right decision.
Because the people around us have a tremendous influence on our lives, it is crucial that you surround yourself with Energizers. Every person in your life should somehow improve you. Dead Batteries should be cut loose. There’s absolutely no reason why you should have to endure anyone who doesn’t make you feel good. Sometimes this is a hard thing to do. But have faith. Your life WILL improve by keeping positive people around you.
For tips on how to set yourself up for success, check out the Jump Start Leadership Workbooks or The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.
To read more motivation, check the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
